I walk into a candlelit room.
All the women I’ve ever dated
are passing around the love poems
I gave them, and guess what?
It’s the same poem — My sweet
[Put Your Name Here] if I was God
I’d make flowers smell like the back
of your neck, trees with trunks
as soft as your thighs. When we kiss
I feel like a cheerleader being crushed
to death by a giant pom-pom. Then Alex
Trebec appears. A game of Ex-
Girlfriend Jeopardy ensues.
All the categories about me.
'I'll take emotional baggage, Alex,
for twenty.’ ‘Jeffrey’s mother
spanked him with this blunt object
so hard, he couldn’t look in a mirror
for a week.’ ‘What’s a wire hairbrush? ‘
'Correct, you control the board.'
'Bedroom Arrogance, for thirty.'
'The most narcissistic thing Jeffrey
has ever said while making love.’
'What is…? ' If you hold me real tight,
you can feel the centrifugal force
of the world revolving around me.
- Jeffery McDaniel